2021 PUNS

Jan 2: What is this year going to be? Twenty-twenty-WONderful.

2020 puns

Nov 28: Nov 28: which bird really likes legumes? PEA-fowl.

Nov 2: what do you call a rotating light source? a lan-TURN.

Oct 31: what do you call an explosive lip product? lip BOMB. credits to Janelle!

Oct 30: how does a mathematician say goodbye? see you calcu-LATER.

Oct 29: what does a sassy ballerina have? attitude. Happy World Ballet Day!

Oct 28: what do you call a turtle who goes to work for a big corporation in exchange for personal happiness or the opportunity to do good in the world? SHELLing out.

Oct 27: what do you call a line of birds? a c-ROW.

Oct 26: what do you called an injured dairy product? yog-HURT.

Oct 24: what do you call a bunny that likes routine? a r-HABIT. (sorry)

Oct 23: how do you begin a funny story? once u-PUN a time.

Oct 22: what do you call a glove that's in love? a s-MITTEN.

Oct. 20: what do you call a new vase? mod-URN.

Oct. 18: what do you call a variety of stars? SUN-dry.

Oct. 17: what do you call a problematic kleenex? a t-ISSUE.

Oct. 16: what do you call a plant's furniture? FERN-iture.

Oct. 15: what do you call a laptop's stomachache? a sto-MAC-ache.

Oct. 14: what do you call an irregular mushroom? SPORE-adic.

Sept 15: what happens when scholars sleep? they sche-DROOL.

Sept 14: what tool do you use to hold your syllabi? a sylla-BINDER.

Aug 10: what are you when your domain expires? do-MAIM-ed.

May 4: which star wars character loves chips? LAYS-a

Apr 28 - which fruit would make a good traffic light? a man-GO.

Apr 20 - what do you call a great adult? an ad-ULTIMATE.

Apr 19 - how many ducks does it take to change a lightbulb? none, hopefully. it’s not supposed to fall on you.

Apr 14 - where does a house keep its money? the WALL-et.

Apr 13 - what do you call sexy poetry? HOEtry.

Apr 12 - what's a reptile's favorite number? allig-EIGHT-or.

Apr 11 - what do you call a computer scientist who loves astrology? a zodi-HACKER.

Apr 10 - what's the kindest element? water. it’s n-ICE.

Mar 16 - what is the most important body part right now? the m-ARCHES of your feet.

Jan 29 - why is january the first month? because it’s ja-NEW-ary.

Jan 22 - what do you call someone who takes forever to think of a pun? pun-derous.

2019 puns

Dec 28 - what sort of stove dials do reptiles use to cook? a croco-dial.

Dec 27 - what is the most quiet instrument? the piano.

Dec 26 - what do you call a snobbish robber on stairs? a condescending con descending.

Dec 25 - how does an egg say "yes?" with an egg-nod.

Dec 11-13 - what’s a legume favorite kind of nut? a PEA-nut. what is the coldest kind of grain? r-ICE. what kind of grain is the most confusing? MAiZE.

Dec 8-10 - what kind of corn whistles when it gets too hot? KETTLE corn. what do amphibians use to boil their water? ket-TOADS. what about ancient romans? ket-TOGAS.

Dec 3 - what do you call a cult for feet? An an-kult.

Nov 30 - Dec 2 - what kind of hats do legumes like to wear? BEAN-ies. what about marvel fans? a CAP. what’s poop’s favorite color? TURD-quoise. how do colors greet each other? y-HELLO.

Nov 26-29 - what do you call hell for eggs? eggs-HELL. what’s an egg’s favorite tree? a y-OAK tree. what place are eggs from? y-OKLAHOMA. wh-AIGHT, imma head out. (these were so bad omfg)

Nov 23-25 - berkeley can berkeLEAVE. that loss was unBEARable, but we’ll retake the axe and make all you bears go BERKserk.

Nov 21-22: here’s the tea: your puns are no matcha for mine.

Nov 14-20 - it’s been a while, but i’ve been overwh-ELM-ed by work. don’t worry, i’m still TREE-ting this blog seriously. i might take occasional LEAVES of absence, but i’ll always be PINE-ing to write for Punderings. that being said, i SEE(d) all of your support! thanks for ROOT-ing for me! i’m trying to BRANCH out into other subjects and writing styles, so stay tuned for some updates!

Nov 12-13 - what do you call a dead car? a CAR-cass. don’t worry, car puns aren’t my en-TIRE niche.

Nov 9-11 - what does your car have after you wreck it? s-CARS. are you TIRED of these puns? no? okay, i’m vehiCOLD.

Nov 8 - sm-OOH-thies.

Nov 7 - trader hoes’.

Nov 6 - what do you call a really good brand of oatmeal? GOATmeal.

Nov 5 - what tree can grow in your hand? a PALM tree.

Nov 4 - when a table travels, it wants to reach its desktination.

Nov 2-3 - it’s getting really cold in novemBRR. guess i gotta warm up with some nov-EMBERS (is that even how embers work lmfao)

Nov 1 - what do you call a smart kid born in november? a KNOWvember birthday.

Oct 31 - i have a hallowe-ENORMOUS love for halloween.

Oct 30 - what do you say when you really want an egg? you don’t say anything. you b-EGG.

Oct 29 - b-hegel and cream cheese.

Oct 28 - what do you say when you do a really good manicure? NAILED it! (this didn’t happen to me last night)

Oct 26-7 - what do you call a rotten cashew? a cash-EW.

Oct 25 - what do you call a currency based on nuts? CASH-ew.

oct 24 - what do you say when someone asks you to gamble but you don’t want to? casi-NO.

Oct 23 - lip b-almond.

Oct 22 - algebruh moment.

Oct 21 - what do you call a vegetable that holds your money? a wallettuce.

Oct 20 - what do you call a beauty salon for musicians? nail po-LISZT.

Oct 19 - if you are walking around looking at people’s eyebrows, you are eyeBROWSING.

Oct 18 - what do you say to someone with good eyebrows? eyebrWOW.

Oct 17 - what state can be found inside an egg? YOLKahoma.

Oct 16 - what is the most evil egg? a DEVILed egg. lmfao is it just me or are my puns degenerating —

Oct 12 - 15 - this is gonna be lame, but: what is a tree that grows on your hand? a PALM tree. what is the softest tree? a FUR tree. what tree misses you the most? a PINE(ing) tree. what tree can catch ‘em all? an ASH tree.

Oct 11 - what do you call a nutty fish? a s-ALMOND.

Oct 9-10 - what do you call a fruit that commits a crime? a water-FELON. what do you tell a fruit when it’s irritating you? go to water-HELL-on.

Oct 8 - what do you call a french library of technology? a biblio-TECH.

Oct 7 - which high school club actually likes mondays? MUN-day.

Oct 6 - I just spilled some orange juice. guess i’m not j-USED to spillages, since it took me forever to clean.

Oct 4-5 - what is october’s favorite bird? HAWK-tober. i know that was probably the most HAWK-ward pun i’ve ever cracked, but i am so tired.

Oct 3 - what do you call an amphibious month? oc-TOAD-ber.

Oct 1-2 - what’s the best footwear for this month? SOCK-tober. they keep your sock-TOES-ber warm.

Sept 30 - wow, september’s over already? That’s another STEP-tember towards 2020!

Sept 29 - what do you call a sticky primate? t-APE.

Sept 28 - what do you say when you fall off the top of a house? r-OOF.

Sept 27 - so i’ve been sick the last few days. i will s-NOT disgust vir-US with the gory details; neither will i mu-CUSS despite all my desires to hurl some expletives at my sore throat. i am subsisting on tea and cough drops - thr-OATMEAL is also helpful.

Sept 23 - what do you call a musical instrument in a drying machine? a vio-lint.

Sept 22 - what do you call a scandalous princess? Sin-derella.

Sept 21 - what is the best planet for ballet? MARS-ley.

Sept 20 - what do you call a ballet class for trail mix lovers? granola barre.

Sept 19 - that was eight puns for the last eight days. thank you for your punderstanding!

Sept 18 - so, it’s been a while - i went camping. i was definitely tent-ative at first, considering how i’m such an insect magnet, but i’m glad i didn’t mos-quit-o. having no service/technology c-amplified my awareness of nature and myself (that sounds lame lmao). my hair was in a constant state of t-entropy, but the social stakes weren’t high, so that was okay. my skin became utterly repellent; there was no in-section of me that was covered by dirt.

tentacles.

Sept 9 - almost forgot to update today rip but: what is a ghost’s favorite and least favorite room? the die-ning and living rooms.

Sept 8 - what did fans say when nicki minaj announced her retirement? Nicki mi-nah.

Sept 7 - what do you get when you combine a soft drink with facial hair? root beard.

Sept 6 - we have now arrived at the dreggs of the egg puns. tomorrow will be something new.

Sept 5 - eggdgar allen poe.

Sept 4 - what do you call a vegetating egg? Ome-lettuce.

Sept 3 - what does an egg say when you separate the yolk and white? w-ight, imma head out.

Sept 2 - back to egg puns: what do you call a cool egg? Eggdgy.

Sept 1 - what month has the prettiest evenings? Sunseptember.

Aug 31 - like wind, this month passed in an au-GUST.

Aug 30 - when you owe money to an egg seller, you are in ome-DEBT.

Aug 29 - what do you call a museum for egg-related artwork? the ome-MET.

Aug 28 - what is an ideal gift for a kid who loves eggs and who wants to develop spatial awareness? ome-Legos.

Aug 27 - can i begin a series of puns on eggs? ome-BET.

Aug 26 - what do you call a hybrid between a mustard plant (edible) and a member of the amaryllidacae family? a brocolleek.

Aug 25 - what do you call a mean vegetable? an a-rude-gula.

Aug 24 - i nep-tune out my haters. no space in my schedule for them.

Aug 23 - what do you find if you put a string instrument in a drying machine? vio-LINT.

Aug 22 - what does a kid say when she doesn’t want to practice an instrument? piaNO!

Aug 21 - what do you call a hybrid between an insect and an amphibian? a mosquitoad.

Aug 20 - i hate flowers. no, just or-chidding.

Aug 19 - what vegetable is also a source of energy? Chard-coal.

Aug 18 - what spice lives under a bridge? a cilan-troll.

Aug 17 - what is the worst fear of a cheese who procrastinates? a fondue-date.

Aug 16 - what is a type of cheese found only in the forest? Moss-arella.

Aug 15 - what do you call an angry nut? a pissed-atchio.

Aug 14 - what do you call a musical instrument stuck in a drying machine? a vio-lint.

Aug 13 - what do you call nail polish for musicians? nail po-liszt.

Aug 12 - i’m not a huge fan of m-academia nor al-mondays, but check the college app tips page for a new post!

Aug 11 - what do you say to someone offering you peppers if you can’t stomach spicy food? jalape-NO. 

Aug 10 - what do you call an athletic office supply who didn’t hydrate after exercising? Sci-sore.

Aug 9 - what do you call a measuring tool with agricultural aspirations? a pro-tractor.

Aug 8 - who is the queen of office supplies? the ruler.